Sympathy for the artist.

All of my life, I’ve been told that, “You can be whatever you want to be. All you have to do is work hard enough and you can do anything”. Turns out that isn’t exactly the truth. It’s a lie people tell children in order to get their hopes up with fantasy and false promises. It’s cruel. It’s mean. I wish people would stop telling children that.

Sounds like I’m ranting a bit right? Well hell yes I’m ranting! Here’s the story.

When I was a little kid, all I wanted to do was draw. I’d draw everything I could think of and see. I was so happy, sitting their with my crayons and a piece of paper, letting my mind wander and my imagination grow. I don’t think that I’ve ever been happier in my life than I was with those crayons.

As I grew older, I started to take a more serious interest in art, particularly pencil drawings. I wasn’t exactly obsessed with it, but I sure as hell spent a lot of time doing it. I tried to teach myself everything I could about the form; depth, shading, figures, strokes and everything I could absorb from books and watching others. All I wanted to do was improve the skills I had obtained from years and years of practicing. I wanted nothing more than to develop as an artists and somehow, someway, make the world a more beautiful place. Sure, it’s sounds idealistic, but I was a teenager at the time.

I applied to an art school in Chicago (The Art Institute of Chicago’s school to be precise) to make my passion into my career. I never expected to become famous or rich, I just wanted to draw and, like I said, add to the beauty that is all around us in the world of ours. I was flat out rejected. Not just rejected mind you, but I was asked by the school if my submitted drawings were a joke. A JOKE!

I was crushed to say the least. However, I perseveered and continued to develop on my own. Let me tell you something, it’s not easy trying to make a living as an artist. Pencils cost money. Paper costs money. Rent costs money. Food costs money. I could go on and on, but you get the point. Being an “uncredited artist” means that I had every single obstruction to my career to overcome. It’s not easy trying to get a showing. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get a meeting, or just some face time, with any gallery owner. I’d even slip my work under their doors at night never to hear from them again.

Dejected, poor and in need to get my work out there, I decided that it was time to swallow my pride and do whatever I had to do. Yes, that’s right. I was one of those artists who drew quick pencil sketches in the mall. I figured that I could make a few bucks and maybe, just maybe get my name out there a bit. I still had that fantasy of making the world a more beautiful place.

That fantasy was the one and only thing I had left to hang on to at that time in my life. Things were not good to say the least. I won’t go into the details of it, but let’s just say I used to get questions about suicidal tendencies all of the time. I wasn’t thinking about it, but after a while, they started to sound more like suggestions than questions. It was a dark time.

That’s the background. Here’s the rant genesis.

One day at the mall. A lady in her mid 30’s or so, asked me for a sketch of her. I got to work trying to make her look a little bit better than what she did in real life. BTW, that’s the trick to that type of artwork. You have to use your talent to improve on the image that is in front of you. It wasn’t easy with this lady. I did my best, putting about 30 years of practice and study to work, trying to make this “woman” (yes, the quotes are on purpose) as beautiful on paper as she thought she was in her mind. I worked longer than usual on it, letting a few other paying customers slip on buy. That was a mistake. When I showed the woman my finished piece, she flipped out, refused to pay, called me an asshole and left! WTF! Whether or not she liked it, she agreed to pay me for my time when she sat down. Now I’m out $20 wich I could use and, because of her uproar, I lost my site at the mall. THAT BITCH! I’m so pissed off at her.

That’s why I’m here. I want you guys and gals to tell me what is wrong with my work? Why in the hell did she get so mad at me for that she refused to pay? I scanned the drawing. Look at it and let me know what you think.

Click here to view the drawing