The importance of knee placement

One of the most important things you can learn in life is to always watch where your knees are. A little story from my past to help reinforce that lesson.

It was a long time ago, back in the Florida days. I was seeing the young lady named Sara (Once again, that’s not her real name). How we met isn’t important to this story. What is important is that neither one of us had the time necessary to put into a relationship in order for it to work. Instead, we decided that it would be a good idea to skip the work and just focus on the good parts of a relationship. The very parts that men usually get in a relationship for. For me, it was ideal. We laughed, drank, told jokes and spent most of out time finding new and exciting ways to make each other sweat. It was, as I said, ideal.

One night, Sara and I were involved in, what could best be described as, a cross between the game Twister and a Yoga class. I say that despite the fact that we were not actually playing Twister or stretching out with Yoga and there were various food items involved. However, the description is accurate enough. During these kinds of activities, there is a tendency to cramp up or feel some form of general discomfort from the positions you find yourself in. I was feeling that discomfort despite having the best damned Twister game of my life. Trying to relieve the soreness that had overtaken my left leg, I decided to shift positions. What I failed to do is look at where I was placing my left knee.

Where I went to place my knee could only be described as, “thin air”. Focusing on the activities that Sara and I were partaking in, and not focussing on the fact that I was at the edge of her bed, my left knee wasn’t supported by the thin air and off the bed I fell. That is a bad thing to happen. What’s worse is hitting your head on a solid wood night-stand and blacking out. The last thing you want the woman you are currently spending “quality time” with to see is you, naked, unconscious on her bedroom floor and covered in whip cream. It is not the way you want to represent yourself.

Fortunately for me, Sara was an emergency room nurse at a local hospital. After introducing my head to her night-stand, I vaguely remember the following events; Sara screaming, her gently shaking me, my pants being put on, a few “Oh Gods”, a car ride, me sitting in the Emergency room.

I was a little woozy to say the least. When things started to clear up and the ability to visually focus on any object returned, I saw Sara sitting in a chair across the room. I was sitting up in a hospital bed, attached to an IV, slightly nauseous and the hospital gown was sticking to my chest. Sara had her head in her hands looking straight down at the ground. I asked her what happened. There was no reply from her, she just looked straight down. There was a response from the doctor that walked in when I asked the question.

The doctor informed me that I had received a concussion. That it was nothing serious, there was no cuts or bleeding, but that I should take it easy for the next few days. I asked about the IV and whether or not that was needed for a concussion. The response was, “It’s more for you being dehydrated from………let’s just call it exercise. Okay” That was his actual response. Now I knew why Sara was staring at the ground. This was the hospital she worked at.

She was embarrassed, which is understandable given the jam she was in. What didn’t help matters was the remarks her coworkers were making to her.

“So, I guess last week when you couldn’t walk, it wasn’t your ankle after all”. We started the Twister games the week before, her ankle was fine.

“So, this is why you blew off girls night out” I don’t like being referred to as, “this”.

“Sara, I think it’s best if you wash off the whipped cream”. It was damned sticky and made the hospital gown even more uncomfortable.

“Sara, um sweetie, that’s not the proper nurses uniform”. Let’s just say she wasn’t wearing a hospital issued nurse’s uniform.

The comments just kept on coming. I totally understand why, it was a very funny thing to have happen. Imagine that you are working in the ER on a Saturday, one of your coworkers comes in with a concussed, whip cream covered guy, she’s not in the “proper” uniform and she is asking for help. That’s comedy gold right there.

After that night, things with Sara and I were never the same. We started to spend less and less quality time with each other. She was busy at work or wanted to go out with her friends more often than before. Sara was slowly becoming more uncomfortable, fearing another visit to the ER. I don’t blame her, it was tough for her to go through. Imagine if you were in her position at the time. Finally, after a month or so, I left Florida and Sara and I never saw each other again.

The reason why I’m sharing this with you is the following. If you are ever lucky enough to meet your own personal version of Sara, and believe me, you would be very lucky, do me one favor will you?

WATCH WHERE YOU PUT YOUR KNEES!

That’s it. That’s all I ask for.

The End.