Whatever that cat’s name was.

I was dating a girl named Sara who had a cat named Wiskers (or whatever that cat’s name was). When Sara would talk to her cat, she would use the word “Pussy” all of the time.

“Does Pussy need some water?”

“How’s Pussy doing today?”

“Does Pussy need some rubs?”

She grew up in a very cat friendly home and using that word was nothing unusual. Her Mother did the same thing as well as her Grandmother. They didn’t use that word like most people would. They honestly used it as a short version of “Pussy Cat” and it was always used within the structure of baby talk. Yes, I know it’s weird, but her entire family was kinda off. Like super cat people kinda off. Dead kitty ashes one the mantle, kitty designed sweaters, scratching posts instead of easy chairs, catwalks in every room, hairball lovin’ kinda off.

Whenever I heard her talk to the cat, I would just giggle or snicker. Sara would tell me to grow up and be more mature. Both of those things I honestly needed to do, but come on, you’d laugh too. It was too weird not to.

I woke up one morning at Sara’s place and went about my usual routine. I went downstairs, made some coffee, put food and water out for Wiskers (or what ever that cat’s name was) and went out to get the morning paper. When I opened the door to let myself in, that damned cat, without one bit of hesitation, ran out and down the driveway like stupid fast.

I immediately started to panic. Sara loved that cat more than she loved me. I had to go find it super quick, before castration would enter Sara’s mind. I ran down the driveway franticly looking around for any sign of Wiskers (or whatever that cat’s name was).

Sara’s neighbor, an elderly Japanese man, was out in his front yard tending to some of his plants. Before thinking and acting purely on adrenaline I asked him…

“Did you see Sara’s Pussy?”

I couldn’t believe I had just said that! To her neighbors credit, he just looked at me and said, “No I haven’t, but if you want to tell me about it, I’ll listen”.

How cool was that comment? Sure, I was in a state of panic, but I had to take a second out from the chase to give the dude a, “Nice one”. He just nodded his head and off I went to find Whiskers (or whatever that cat’s name was).

After five minutes of searching I found Wiskers (or whatever that cat’s name was) by a small tree, picked her up and got her inside. She seemed kinda freaked out a bit, being an inside cat straying into the outside cat world, but all in all, no harm done. Sara never knew what happened. For the next few days, anytime Sara and I would walk up to her place, her neighbor would smile at me and give the thumbs up sign.

Funny dude.