Recently, I went to pick up a gift for my girlfriend. It was a gift certificate to a fancy-schmancy lingerie store that she, “just so happened” to mention she liked a lot. I got the hint, her birthday was coming up, and off I went.
So, I arrived at the store and was immediately pegged by the sales staff as, “a guy that needs help”. The help arrived in the form of a particularly well endowed young woman who, for some reason or another, seemed to enjoy bending over while wearing a low cut top and a push up bra. Now, here’s the odd thing. Normally, if a woman bends over in front of me (especially if it’s repeatedly and the cleavage is glorious), I’m totally going to look. I’m a guy, what can I say? I know that women never dress on accident and if cleavage is showing to that extent, it’s done on purpose. The thing is that, the first thought that went through my head wasn’t, “hey look, boobies! Ya for boobies!” like normal. It was, “why is she showing me her boobs?”
At that very moment, I got a bit scared. I got scared because I realized my entire paradigm for living had shifted from “boobies are fun” to “just my girlfriend’s boobies are fun” without my direct and conscience consent.
WTF?!
What have I become? I went from a happy-go-lucky-man-about-town to being in a serious, committed relationship in like, no time flat. I went from enjoying boobies in a wide variety of shapes, forms, sizes and presentations to just enjoying one particular pair.
How did that happen?
Why did that happen?
When did that happen?
Why am I glad that it did happen?
What I think this means, at least I hope that it means, I’m finally growing up. That I have matured to the point where I can truly appreciate all the subtleties and nuances in one pair of breasts and no longer need to see as many as I can. I think this means that I’m finally becoming an adult. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself. I still use the word “poo” and think that farts are funny. Rome wasn’t built in a day and me becoming a full grown adult is going to take some time.
Filed under: Dating, Humor, Life, Personal | Tagged: cleavage, Dating, growing up, paradigm
This is utter bullshit. I am a 34 year old female and I still enjoy looking at boobies. What is wrong with you?!
Growing up is for sissies.
Yah, that crazy thing called love. Congratulations on your paradigm shift, my dear. I’m ever so pleased for you… for the both of you. It makes me smile like big times.. :)
I’m glad I’m not the only one who still says “poo”…. actually, something funny and poo-related happened to me today (er, not what you might be thinking..hah). I was in a public toilet and a child came in, accompanied by an adult, and she was yelling at the top of her voice: “I’m going to do a wee! And then I’m going to do a POO!!” “I’M GOING TO DO A POOOO!!!” “OOOH THE POO IS COMING OUT!!!” “THERE IS MY POO!!!”
I guess you had to be there, but I wasn’t the only one laughing…
Being an adult is no fun! I am never going to grow up… I like slipping in my own drool over hawt men!