Midlife Crisis: Pros and Cons

Well, there’s no way to get around it now, I’m an old man. Yes, that’s right, I’m a whopping 35 years old.
I remember when 35 seemed ancient. I remember wondering how anyone that needed to use all of their fingers and toes to count their age could possibly survive being that old. Granted, I [...]

Paradigm Shift

Recently, I went to pick up a gift for my girlfriend. It was a gift certificate to a fancy-schmancy lingerie store that she, “just so happened” to mention she liked a lot. I got the hint, her birthday was coming up, and off I went.  
So, I arrived at the store and was immediately pegged by the sales staff [...]

Dating me isn’t easy

Her “Do you think that it’s true about men being more like dogs and women being more like cats?”
Me “Um, I think dogs are like dogs, cats act like cats, men act like men and women act like women.”
Her “Okay Smartass. What I mean is that women tend to be a bit more aloof and [...]

Take a second, think about it, babies can’t fly.

So, I’m on this plane and there’s this kid, screaming his ass off…FOR AN HOUR!
I’m sitting on the aisle, trying to drown out the tantrum with my iPod blasting the band, TV on the Radio, and it just isn’t working. For a mini kid, he had a fully developed set of lungs and apparently, some [...]

You know what they say about assumptions.

Me: “Excuse me, I’m not really sure how to put this politely, but…”
Her interrupting me: “Fuck! I don’t want to be hit on again. I’m just out with my friends, trying to have a good time and you assholes won’t leave us alone. Do I look like a whore? Do I have ‘I’m easy’ written [...]

Whatever that cat’s name was.

I was dating a girl named Sara who had a cat named Wiskers (or whatever that cat’s name was). When Sara would talk to her cat, she would use the word “Pussy” all of the time.
“Does Pussy need some water?”
“How’s Pussy doing today?”
“Does Pussy need some rubs?”
She grew up in a very cat friendly home [...]

Ka-BOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

I just saw this and had to pass it along.
George W. almost got himself, Cheney and the CEO of Ford, blow’d the fuck up.

I’m moving (finally!)

So, as some of you know, my commute to work is 67 miles…EACH WAY!
In an effort to cut down my driving time and well, to save my sanity, I’m moving closer to where I work. Oh and of course, spending about 150 bucks a week on gas factored in big time.
I’ve been looking for a [...]

The next “Sara” story…

Is going to be password protected…maybe.
Why? Well, a friend of mine, that has read all of the stories so far, says that the stories are much better in person. She’s heard just about all of them during random nights out and about and suggested that I post a video version of the next one. [...]

Be careful of where you point that thing.

I had been dating a nice young woman “Sara” for a few months. Everything was going quite well in the relationship. So well in fact, that we spent most of our free time in bed doing what normal adults do. It was a blast to say the least. The sex was fantastic and I was [...]